If you’ve got questions about relationships, sex and sexual health and you are aged 13 – 21, then our TouchBase online advice guide is for you.
Welcome to TouchBase YouthSpace, a confidential online space for young people who need advice & guidance about healthy relationships, sexual health, and emotional wellbeing.
At EdShift we are aware that relationships, sexual health, and wellbeing are interconnected and that when we experience fulfilling relationships and good sexual health, we are fundamentally protecting our emotional wellbeing.
Whatever you are feeling or thinking we’ve got advice and guidance to support you.
It can be a tricky time if you’re feeling low or overwhelmed with stuff and it can be hard to know how to deal with life’s challenges.
The good news is that overtime we can develop the tools to help us manage our feelings better. This is the space where you will find uptodate advice and guidance about how to improve your relationships, emotional wellbeing and sexual health.
Distracting yourself or doing one of your favourite things can help you feel better. This could be chilling in bed all day and watching your favourite film to going for a walk with a friend or pet and getting some fresh air.
Even doing just one positive thing every day can help lift your mood.
Our EdShift Toolbox is full of coping strategies to help you manage life’s day to day stresses.
Sometimes it can be hard to express how we are feeling. Maybe we are scared to say what we really feel, don’t know the right words, or just feel a bit confused about who to talk to.
Try using our simple communication tools below. Just follow the prompts and add in your own words to complete the sentence:
"When I ______, it's because I feel ______. You could help by _______"
E.g. "When I lash out, it's because I feel frustrated. You could help by giving me some space"
"When you ______, I feel ________ because______"
E.g. "When you shout at me, I feel scared, because it reminds me of how things used to be"
"Sometimes I want to talk about _____, but feel too ______. Can we talk abou it?"
E.g. "Sometimes I want to talk about relationships, but feel too embarrassed. Can we talk about it?"
There are more to our feelings than just “happy”, “sad”, or “angry”.
Try clicking on the words below to reveal the other words that might describe how you feel underneath the BIG feeling.
Affirmations are statements that we say to ourselves that can shift our mindset and make us feel better about ourselves. The human brain can change even into adulthood. The more we repeat positive thoughts, the easier it is to recall them later.
Some tips for using affirmations:
Really helpful affirmations cards include:
A positive affirmation
for example: ‘All is well in my world. I inhale peace and exhale calm’.
Write something you can do to help you calm down, with an explanation of how to do it and why it might help.
Other things you can write:
Positive statements about yourself or your achievements
Try decorating your affirmation cards to make them feel like they’re yours.
You can use them any time you need to. The great thing about affirmations is they can be used on any material. Like, Affirmation stones, or affirmation bricks. Choose something that works for you.
Something that feels that little bit extra special.
Here’s how we do the GOLDEN BREATHING TOOL:
It’s important to try and practice this every day for a few minutes. Practicing when you’re not anxious will train you to respond more easily when you are feeling shaky.
The long exhale is important because it activates your ‘parasympathetic nervous system’ to help calm you.
*parasympathetic nervous system kicks in during times of peace.
Relationships aren’t always easy. There is so much to figure out.
How do I say this? How do I do that? I wish I hadn’t said that.
How can I make it right? Why did they do that?
This feels wrong. Is it?
To help you with this mind meddle we have created a quiz for you, to help you understand the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationship’s and identify early warning signs of abuse so you can leave before it gets worse.
If you are worried about your answers or it has highlighted something about your own relationship you can send us a confidential message below and a member of the team will get in touch with you.
When we colour in attention flows away from ourselves and relaxes the brain. When our thoughts focus on a simple activity, our brain relaxes. This can be a great tool to help us calm down, silence the noise or escape our negative thoughts.
Colouring can quieten our minds and make the difficult feelings we might be experiencing go away.
Art doesn’t have to be perfect, it’s more of an expression of how we are feeling at that moment in time. It can be as neat — or as messy — as you choose, and this can be both relaxing and liberating.
Download, Print and colour in your EdShift Mandala by clicking the button below:
You might have heard or seen or still hear and see fights at home. The people that fight will be in a relationship of some kind, but it is usually an intimate relationship. Fights happen more than once and can become more often over time.
It is usually one person threatening, controlling, frightening, bullying or being violent to another person, but this will also affect other people living in the home.
We call this domestic abuse.
Unfortunately, it’s more common than we think.
Over the years, EdShift has supported thousands of children living with domestic abuse, providing them with the tools to help them cope with the demands of their home environment.
The violence is never your fault. You are not alone. Someone really loves you. You are important and you matter.
Below is a copy of our safety plan, which we’ve completed for you should you need tips and advice on how to stay safe when you feel unsafe at home.
If you would like to complete your own safety blue print click the button below:
At EdShift we are keen to empower and amplify the voices of young people. We know, that those aged 13 – 21 are better placed to tell us about the real issues young people face.
If you have an idea for a blog and you’d like to write about the challenges you’ve experienced and how you overcame those challenges, we’d really love to hear from you.
As well as amplifying your voice, the words that you write, might help another person going through a similar situation. The process of writing will also be very healing for you.
You might want to write about a ‘Toxic Friend’, ‘Having sex for the first time’ or ‘experiencing a healthy and loving relationship’. All that we ask is that the blog is no more than 1000 words and the themes are about relationships, sexual health and emotional wellbeing.
To submit an idea for a Youth Blog and have your piece published on our website and shared across our social media channels email nathan@edshift.co.uk
If you can’t find what you’re looking for then you can send a message via our messaging box for confidential advice & guidance and a trained member of our team will TouchBase with you.
Being in a relationship, especially your first can be exciting, but it can sometimes also be a mind meddle, especially when you throw hormones into the equation as well! Read our advice on what to do if you’re not sure about a relationship.
There’s no right or wrong time to start a relationship. And deciding whether you want to get together with someone should always be your choice. It’s important to think about what makes you happy, especially if you’re feeling pressured by other people.
Remember that relationships don’t all look the same, so what you want might be different to what someone else wants.
If you’re worried, EdShift is here to support you.
When you like someone and you want them to know, there are a few things you can do to make it easier:
Getting to know someone can help you decide whether you want to ask them out and can help you decide whether they like spending time with you too.
It’s not always a good time to ask someone out or tell them you like them. Think about how they might feel, and don’t do anything that would make someone else feel uncomfortable.
Feeling good can help you to feel more confident and able to share how you feel.
Keep other interests and spend time with other people as well as talking to the person you like.
Ask your friends or someone you trust what they think or get tips from message boards.
Condoms can also help to stop Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) including:
Make sure that if you intend to have sex, you use a condom from the start as pre-cum (fluid that comes out of the penis before ejaculation, often to help lubricate the penis) can contain sperm and STIs.
Condoms act as a barrier method and any pre-cum and sperm is captured inside the condom.
To help protect you and your partner, use a condom every time you have sex, including vaginal, anal and oral sex.
Some people say “condoms spoil sex for me” as an excuse not to use condoms, but did you know that there many different types of condoms you get from our In Touch Drop In, which can make having safer sex fun and enjoyable:
A taste sensation!
Increase the pleasure for you and your partner!
It can feel a bit embarrassing to talk to your partner but it’s important so that you can look after yours and your partners sexual health.
Always remember that condoms can break during sexual intercourse and are much more likely to split if they are out of date or in damaged packaging and may not be effective in preventing STIs or pregnancy, so use our check list before buying and using a condom.
You can collect free condoms from EdShift@ The YouthBase on 7 Harrison Road, HX1 2AF every Thursday from 3:30 – 4:30pm at our InTouch Drop In
Condoms are also available for free from Sexual Health Clinics (Broad Street Plaza, Halifax, GPs, Pharmacies and The Orange Box young people’s services.
All types of condoms are available to buy from a shop or (online from known providers such as Pasante, Durex or Mates).
‘Feeling in control, actively saying yes, consciously making an informed choice to participate in sexual activity because you decide without feeling pressured’.
Consent in sex is very important. It means that everyone involved in the sexual activity wants to be involved.
Consent means that you have given permission, and that someone has given you permission to engage in any sexual activity.
Any sexual contact without consent is illegal regardless of the age, gender and sexuality of the people involved. In the UK, the age of consent for sexual activity is 16.
Even if someone hasn’t said no, that doesn’t mean you should assume that they want to have sex.
If someone has been drinking alcohol, or taking drugs, they may not be able to consent to sex.
If someone is asleep or unconscious, they cannot give consent.
It’s always best to ask!
If someone had given consent, but during sexual activity has changed their mind, it’s not okay to continue.
Even if someone hasn’t said no, that doesn’t mean you should assume that they want to have sex. You need to have and give enthusiastic consent.
Consent is an essential part of healthy and safe relationships and it’s important to know what it is and the many ways to spot it.
This also means talking to your partner if you are not yet ready for sex.
You might have been told that it’s something embarrassing or that you shouldn’t talk about it.
But it’s very natural and normal to have questions and talking to someone you trust can be a massive support.
You might be questioning:
But it can mean lots of different things to different people.
People who say that they are ‘having sex’ are usually talking about sexual intercourse, but this isn’t always the case.
You can be intimate or sexual with someone without having sexual intercourse. Things like:
Can all be forms of being intimate with someone without participating in sexual intercourse.
You can show your partner respect by talking about what you are both comfortable with before deciding whether to continue with sex.
Nobody has the right to pressure you or make you feel like you must do something.
If it has been less than 120 hours since unprotected sex, you should access Emergency Contraception if you are not ready to have a baby.
Emergency Contraception becomes less effective overtime. It’s important to act as quickly as possible. There are a range of pharmacy’s where you can get emergency contraception or morning after pill, there maybe a charge but in certain circumstances, pharmacies can waiver this.
You should also arrange to get tested for STIs.
If you are worried that you might be pregnant, you should get a pregnancy test. You can get a pregnancy test and speak with a trained professional at our InTouch Drop In.
You can also speak with your GP, Pharmacy or Healthcare professional at a Sexual Health Clinic.
If you are worried that you have had unprotected sex with someone who has HIV, contact us on 0300 300 2016 or book an appointment as soon as possible as you may be able to get PEP.
You may have information which is incorrect and could therefore affect your sexual health and emotional wellbeing.
So here are the- facts from the myths to help you and your partner stay safe.
Myth: Pre-cum (fluid that comes out of the penis before ejaculation, often to help lubricate the penis) doesn’t contain sperm!
Fact: Withdrawal before ejaculation is is not a reliable method if you don’t want to get pregnant. Pre-cum can contain sperm and STIS.
Even shallow insertion of the penis into the vagina (sometimes called dipping) carries risks for both partners.
Myth: You can’t get pregnant first time you have sex.
Fact: You can get pregnant even if it’s your first sexual intercourse.
Myth: Using cling film- Many people think that wrapping cling film, or other types of plastic barriers (such as crisp packets) around the penis will work the same as using a condom.
Fact: It doesn’t and could be an extremely painful method.
Myth: Having sex while on a period is a form of contraception.
Fact: Sperm can remain in the body for five days after sex. Even if you are on your period, your ovulation cycle can still be irregular, which means you could be at increased risk of pregnancy (ovulation is when your body releases egg cells).
Myth Using two condoms is better than one.
Fact Two condoms will rub against each other, and this can weaken or break the condom. This is the same regardless of the type of condom. Use one at a time.
EdShift CIC
7 Harrison Road
Halifax
HX1 2AF
SUPPORTED BY:
We are also looking for funding and donations to further our resources, if you are interested in getting involved then we’d love to hear from you.
Copyright 2023© EdShift CIC All rights Reserved. Design by Grinning Graphics
