In the wake of Holly Newton’s tragic murder, there are vital conversations that need to be had—not just about the violence itself, but about the deeper societal issues at play. Holly’s death has brought coercive control into the spotlight, exposing how this insidious form of abuse can manifest in the lives of young people. As Holly’s case continues to be discussed, it’s essential that we confront not just the actions of her killer, but the deeply ingrained beliefs about gender, power, and relationships that often enable such violence.

Holly Newton was only 15 years old when she was murdered. Her death, at the hands of a partner who controlled and manipulated her for months, highlights a reality that many young people today are still grappling with—how to recognize and challenge coercive control. For Holly, as for so many others, the line between a healthy relationship and an abusive one had become impossibly blurred. Holly’s story is a heart-breaking reminder of the devastating consequences when such control is ignored or normalized.

Coercive Control: A Hidden Epidemic Among Young People

Coercive control, as defined by the UK government, is a form of domestic abuse where one partner uses various tactics—manipulation, isolation, threats, and psychological abuse—to exert power over the other. It’s a silent, insidious form of abuse, often overlooked or misunderstood, especially among young people who are still forming their ideas about love, respect, and relationships.

Recent research reveals that coercive control is alarmingly prevalent among young people, yet it remains largely unrecognized and unaddressed. Holly’s case is just one example of how young people are at risk when harmful beliefs and norms around gender and power go unchallenged. Many young people, including Holly, have grown up in environments where traditional notions of masculinity and femininity persist, even as society evolves. These outdated beliefs can make it difficult for young people to distinguish between healthy and abusive behaviours, leading to tragic outcomes.

The Power of Societal Beliefs

It’s easy to dismiss Holly’s murder as an isolated tragedy—something that happens to “other people.” But the reality is that coercive control is woven into the fabric of many relationships, particularly among young people who are just beginning to navigate the complex terrain of romantic partnerships. And the beliefs we hold, both explicitly and implicitly, about what love, respect, and control should look like, play a huge role in this.

Think about the language we use when discussing relationships. How many young people still hear phrases like “boys will be boys,” or “she’s too sensitive” when they express discomfort or seek help? These ideas, often deeply rooted in cultural narratives, subtly support the notion that coercive behaviours—like monitoring a partner’s movements, demanding constant attention, or belittling someone—are normal or even acceptable. Holly’s death reminds us that when we let these ideas slide, it can be a matter of life and death.

Challenging Beliefs About Love and Control Among Young People

Young people today are more aware of many social issues than ever before, but they still face considerable challenges when it comes to understanding coercive control. The influence of social media, movies, music, and other forms of media plays a crucial role in shaping their perceptions of what relationships should look like. Popular culture often glorifies possessive and controlling behaviours as romantic or loving, which can be dangerously misleading for young people who are trying to figure out what love really means.

Holly Newton’s case is a tragic example of what happens when the boundary between love and control becomes blurred. Holly’s killer used language, threats, and psychological tactics to isolate her from friends and family, controlling what she wore, who she saw, and even what she could say. But Holly’s experience isn’t just about her; it’s about a generation that still struggles to break free from toxic norms. The challenge now is how we support young people in understanding these dynamics and recognizing when things have crossed a line.

The Role of Education

Education is key in addressing the issue of coercive control. For Holly, as for so many young people, there was a lack of understanding around what constitutes abuse. We must take a more active role in educating young people about coercive control, emphasizing that healthy relationships do not involve manipulation, fear, or isolation. By integrating these lessons into curricula, training youth workers, and providing accessible resources, we can begin to break down the barriers of ignorance and harmful beliefs.

A Call to Action

The conversation around Holly Newton’s murder is not just about an awful crime, but about a societal failure to adequately understand and address coercive control. As more young people face abuse, it becomes clearer that we need to address harmful beliefs and norms around gender, love, and control. Holly’s death should be a catalyst for a broader, bolder discussion about what healthy relationships really look like—and how we can help young people to embrace and live them.

We need to work together to dismantle the beliefs that support coercive control. We need to start seeing it for what it really is—an unacceptable form of abuse. For Holly Newton, this conversation came too late. But for others, it’s not too late. We can all play a part in making sure that no one else has to suffer as Holly did.

Conclusion

Holly Newton’s death is a tragic and powerful reminder of the importance of understanding coercive control and the beliefs that support it. While we continue to grieve Holly’s loss, let’s also commit to taking action—educating, raising awareness, and fighting for a world where young people can recognize abuse and live in relationships built on mutual respect and freedom. Holly’s story should be a turning point, not just for those who knew her, but for everyone.

Holly Newton’s death is not just a tragedy; it’s an urgent call to examine and challenge the dangerous beliefs that surround coercive control among young people. We owe it to Holly and countless others to ensure that this conversation continues, and that we take meaningful steps toward preventing such tragedies from ever happening again.

By Nathan McGill

YouthBase and Community Practitioner